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The Auction Before Christmas by Virginia Sherard


Our good friend and member of our auction family wrote this for us.

I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing it with y’all.

The Auction Before Christmas

‘Twas the auction before Christmas, at The Chattanooga Auction House,                              All the people were bidding, except for my spouse.                                                                    The paintings were hung on the walls with great care,                                                                 In hopes that big spenders, soon would be there!

With Perry in his Marilyn tie and Mike’s tie a bow,                                                                    We all settled in, to start spending some dough.                                                                         The crowd were all snug in their seats, thanks to Stan,                                                           Who sweated for days on the seating floor plan.

So then in a twinkling, we heard from the block,                                                                         The rules and conditions to purchase their stock.                                                                      And what, to our wandering eyes were soon found,                                                                          But eight floor-helper guys and one tiny dash-hound!

And then, from the sideline, arose such a clatter                                                                         We sprang from our seats to see what was the matter.                                                             Now one lot will have to be offered “as-is”,                                                                           Clumsy patrons are often destructive spazzes.

The jolly old mirror joke flew off the shelf,                                                                                   and I laughed when I heard it, inspite of myself!                                                                              We later received yet one more iteration,                                                                                       Of Stan’s educational Yew Wood oration.

More rapid than eagles, the merchandise came,                                                                       They gestured and shouted, called bidders by name!                                                                Lest the audience get just a little too zen,                                                                                     The bell for phone bidders now tolls like Big Ben!

A wink of the eye and the fall of the gavel,                                                                                       Let me know that my finances soon would unravel!                                                                     But I heard them exclaim, ere I paid my invoice,                                                                            The next lot’s 3 items, does someone want choice?

Merry Christmas

Virginia Sherard

2014